Part 44: Smoke and Mirrors

Chapter 44 - Smoke and Mirrors




MUST GET MATERIA BACK.



The only correct thing to say.



I love these reactions, because you can always ask yourself - wait, it doesn't make sense that these guys dress SO weird and randomly when everyone else is wearing normal clothes.



Guess what - it really doesn't make sense at all, and everyone in-game finds that as puzzling as you!



They did mention something about "the one who came here" a minute ago. Hmm.



Oh.





GOTCHA.



Of course she just runs away.



Poetry.



This is one of the most amusing parts of the chase. You can't see in this screen because I amazingly took all the wrong screenshots of it and can't do an animated gif, but that huge vase is shaking, something that wasn't happening before.



There ain't no running away now, dawg.



Here's a mini-game. Press the button to punch the vase. Repeat. Seriously.



They're quick, but I'm much faster.





"I shouldn't have tried to steal from a bunch of psychos. I mean for fuck's sake, dude's got a gun attached to his arm, what the hell was I thinking?"



"And this girl here exorcises spirits out of their existence by bashing with an umbrella on their faces, of course I was wrong."



As we leave, two Shinra soldiers come running from the north and enter the Inn. Of course. This was just too easy.



OH SHIT. WHO IS HE?



Did Sephiroth come here for vacation? I mean, we DO know he likes to go to Gold Saucer and show his ticket to random people at the beach.





Shit Sephiroth is here.





"Looking at you is making me sober" is such a great quote I don't even know what to say. The Turks really shine in Wutai.



We're so fucked.









I mean, seriously. They're so classy I almost forget how easy it is to beat them.





Well we can't do anything about it without our materia, right? Let's get back to it.



As good as Yuffie is in hiding the materia, she is pretty terrible at hiding from us.



But more important than the materia is this. The sixth flyer of Turtle's Paradise.



At long, we will be able to recover what is ours by right. For too long we've looked for these flyers. No more.







You might have been wondering...



...why didn't I golden the awesome things the Turks were saying?



But really



I just lose it when Cloud says this. It's so hilariously cold. I DON'T CARE.







Oh boy here we go. Do we pull the Left lever as she says, or the right one? Is she lying? Is she saying the truth?



Of course you saw it coming. It doesn't matter which lever you pull. The event is rigged - you're gonna lose it either way.



If you pull the right one, Yuffie is gonna be snarky about you not listening.



Of course, she does the same if you pull the left one. Either way, we're screwed.





:facepalm:



Time for the translation squad to find out what the original pun was.



This is the house directly below Yuffie's. Someone is a little way too much into cats.



We're back to the beginning.



Searching the town won't yield anything this time, so we're gonna look at the Pagoda again.



This is strangely intuitive. Something about bells needing to be rang. Ringing the bell opens a secret passage on the wall below.



Wait What nooo our materia.



There's dramatic music playing here. Tension.



It's been a long time, Sephiroth. We didn't expect to meet you here, of all places. Today we shall settle the score.



Wait, what



The music change is pretty hilarious to say the least.



Oh for fuck's sake.





I love Cloud's surprise. Not one, but two? Treachery!



Well this is awkward.



Right now I'm itching to open these chests though.



We get a [Swift Bolt] (Lightning3-All) and an Elixir. I'm really feeling a lot underleveled now that the items suggest we should be getting the third rank of our starting materias.





This whole sequence reeks of 60's cartoons.



These random encounters are not entirely trivial. Some people pointed that lacking materia at this place can really be nasty. In fact, I do find some of the random encounters here (like these soldiers) tougher than 90% of the bosses we've seen so far.



They love inflicting Darkness and Sleep. While that is easily fixed with the proper accessories, it's very unlikely you'll be protecting everyone from it. I use some damage items on them to make things move faster.



Exiting this place gets us back to Godo's house.



Which we might as well explore a bit.



To the bottom there's an obvious secret passage.



Which gives us the Hairpin.



The Hairpin is a Red XIII's weapon. It's still inferior to the Seraph Comb's and has no materia slots, but unlike his other weapons it's Long Range.



The entrance of Godo's house. This is one nice place.



To the left of this room is another "secret passage".



Which yields a weapon for Yuffie.



The [Magic Shuriken] is a fairly strong weapon, with 64 Damage and a hidden +10 Dex. It's not as strong as the [Superball] but it has some materia slots, which the later doesn't.







It's amusing that the game puts us and our enemies in the same situation.



So we're gonna do a gentleman's agreement for now.



Truly a gentleman.





Sounds great to me.





To the [TEMPLE OF ANCIENTS].



[TEMPLE OF ANCIENTS].



Just joking. We're going to the Da-Chao's statue, Wutai's monument. And that's it for today, folks!


Next time:

An unexpected alliance! A Boss Fight! The Final Confrontation with Corneo! (Or is it?)